unsavioured:

Im buysexual, you buy me food, i become sexual

(via cuntcartel)

starangeandunusual:

Girls don’t like boys, girls like fanfiction, food and middle aged celebrities.

(Source: benedictcumberbatchs, via battleof-hogwarts)

em-gee3:

fakegalleryprincess:

I don’t even have a computer.

Okay, we got 3,943,048 little sarcastic assholes on here

Now it’s 4,649,128 sarcastic assholes

(Source: lifemakeslove-lookhard, via heyitsjanesdiary)

shitsponge:

thefeltonfreak:

realityisahumaninvention:

unclefather:

nottoointeresting:

thelaughingmango:

unclefather:

why can’t a t-rex clap? because it’s dead

too soon

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his Family. 

WHAT

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”

The horse replies “my wife has terminal cancer”

what’s worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?

the holocaust

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a truck.

Growing up I believed when you wished upon a star, you’re dreams would come true. However that star is dead, just like your dreams.

(Source: chickensandwich, via daxtruf)

sodamnrelatable:

(Source: bieberdirectionhigh, via battleof-hogwarts)

lastofthetimeladies:

we think cats are adorable no matter how skinny or fat they are so why do we treat humans any differently

(via beautiful-inside-and-outx3)